


Like An Illusion

by AnotherGallavichLove



Series: Prompts [2]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Do-Over, Dreams, M/M, illusion, post 5x12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 23:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4367789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherGallavichLove/pseuds/AnotherGallavichLove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on this prompt: Mickey takes tons of pills the night of the breakup. He falls asleep hoping it kills him, but when he wakes up Ian is poking him in the back with a tire iron, and he gets to have a redo of their whole relationship with all of his memories.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like An Illusion

Mickey stared down at the white pills scattered over the kitchen table, trying to feel something, anything but the burning, throbbing ache in his chest.

 

If he was honest, he didn’t know how the fuck he had gotten to this point in his life.

 

He used to be Mickey Milkovich.

 

The thug. The bully. The abuser.

 

Never the victim.

 

Somewhere along the way, he had lost that person, and he had become somebody weak.

 

Someone who actually gave a shit.

 

Mickey cared, and not just about Ian, but about everything.

 

Ever since that stupid redhead with that dumb smile had gotten him to open up, he had begun to care about everything around him, and he had begun to feel everything a thousand times deeper.

 

For about half a second, he had liked it.

 

Not forcing himself to put up a tough front every single second of every single day, it was nice, something he had never gotten the chance to experience before.

 

At the end of the day, he had even had Ian to come home to, they had been like a fucking married couple, and Mickey had loved it.

 

Fuck, he was pathetic.

 

He should have known that it wouldn’t last.

 

Mickey had tried with every single fiber of his being to make it work, to be there for Ian, but in the end, this was where it got him.

 

This was where it got _them._

 

Ian had dumped Mickey and here he was, heartbroken, sobbing and staring down at the drugs that he knew could solve everything.

 

He took a deep breath and thought about it for two more second before he took the pills one at a time, swallowing each of them down with a gulp of beer.

 

Mickey stood up, stumbled into his room and fell down onto the bed, face first.

 

Mickey woke up from something poking him in the back, his first thought was Ian’s morning wood but that wouldn’t make any sense what so ever at this point in their lives.

 

He opened his eyes further and noticed that the room he had passed out in was not the one he was in now, the first indication being the walls painted red.

 

Mickey finally woke up enough to speak and move, turning over from his stomach ever so slowly.

 

”What the fuck?” He jumped backwards, sitting up when he got a look at what was the reason for the disturbance.

 

It was Ian.

 

Only not.

 

It sixteen year old Ian, the one he had first fallen in love with.

 

”I want the gun back, Mickey”

 

Mickey let his eyes flicker around in the room.

 

What the actual fuck was going on?

 

This had to be some kind of dream.

 

It could be a prank, too but that wouldn’t be funny.

 

Not to mention how much Ian had grown since they first hooked up, it would be damn near impossible to make him look like his sixteen year old self again.

 

”This some fucking joke?” Was what he ended up saying anyway, his mind was kind of fuzzy.

 

He didn’t know if it was because of the pills or because he had just woken up.

 

Most likely both.

 

”No. The gun. You stole it, I want it back” Mickey raised his eyebrows.

 

What the fuck was this?

 

It was just like the first time they had ever hooked up, only not at all.

 

Back then he had fought Ian, gotten real close to beating his skull in with the tire iron.

 

He couldn’t do that this time.

 

No matter if this was a prank or a dream or some kind of weird drug induced illusion, he might as well do it right this time.

 

He decided that not matter what the fuck was going on with him. he should at least see it through.

 

”You want the gun, huh?” Ian appeared flustered, trying desperately to keep his shoulders squared. Mickey knew his tells all too well by now, damn it.

 

”Yes. Give it. Now” Mickey smirked and nodded slowly, as if he was thinking it over.

 

”Make me”

 

The determined look on Ian’s face was replaced by confusion, and maybe fear.

 

Mickey couldn’t blame him, all this Ian knew about him was that he was Mickey Milkovich, Terry Milkovich’s son, and for a lot of people, that was all they really needed to hear before they ran as fast as they could in the other direction.

 

”What…?”

 

The tire iron had practically slipped completely from Ian’s hand as he was trying to figure out what Mickey was getting at.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and grabbed the weapon quickly, making Ian flinch.

 

Mickey just put it aside and raised an eyebrow.

 

”You want the gun? Work for it” Mickey palmed himself through his sweatpants. Ian’s eyes flickered from Mickey’s crotch to his face.

 

”I… really? You mean you’re…?”

 

”Yeah. I’m gay. You getting on me or not?”

 

Back when this actually happened, Mickey wouldn’t have had the balls to use that word to describe himself in a million years, but here he was.

 

And he actually didn’t mind it.

 

Right now all he wanted was Ian, in any way that he could get him.

 

If that was in a hazy, drug induced illusion, then it was better than nothing.

 

Ian rid himself of his jacket and quickly got down on his knees, pulling Mickey’s sweatpants down to his ankles.

 

Mickey closed his eyes as Ian’s hand wrapped around his cock tightly, jerking it a few times before he put his mouth to the tip.

 

Mickey’s head fell back, enjoying the way Ian’s tongue was teasing him, licking the tip and down the sides before finally swallowing him all the way down.

 

Mickey’s hand flew to Ian’s head, grabbing the auburn hair, urging him on.

 

”Gallagher. Fuck. You’re fucking good at that”

 

Ian pulled off long enough to smirk before swallowing Mickey’s dick down again, hollowing his cheeks and bopping his head at a fast pace.

 

”Stop, stop, stop” He finally begged and Ian pulled off, wiping his chin free from precum and saliva.

 

Maybe he shouldn’t because of how strange all of this was, but Mickey couldn’t help but put a hand onto Ian’s cheek, allowing himself to admire the boy for a few seconds.

 

Ian stood up, pressing their lips together, prying Mickey’s shirt off of him as they fell backwards onto the bed.

 

Within seconds, they had gotten rid of all of their clothes and Ian was straddling Mickey, Mickey pumping Ian’s massive dick slowly.

 

”You okay like this?” Ian asked him, referring to their face to face position.

 

Mickey nodded.

 

”Yes. Fuck. Just get in me, Gallagher. Please”

 

”Lube?”

 

”No. I’m good. None of that”

 

”You sure?”

 

  ”Yes, fuck. You a blushing virgin or some shit?”

 

That was the exact words he had said at some point during their actual first time together, but this time he was smirking.

 

Ian smiled at him for a second before he fished a condom out of his pocket and rolled it onto his dick.

 

”You a boy scout or something?”

 

”Or something” Mickey smirked, pressing their lips together as Ian put his dick against Mickey’s hole.

 

Their tongues tangled together, Ian biting Mickey’s lip ever so slightly as he eased himself in.

 

For a second, Mickey regretted the no lube thing, but he pushed through it and soon enough the pain turned to pleasure.

 

Having Gallagher inside of him felt like heaven, even in this weird illusion confusion stage.

 

Mickey still didn’t know what the fuck was going on with all of this, so all he could do was hold on to the boy hovering over him.

 

It was all he ever wanted to do anyway.

 

Then, as quickly as it hard started, it was over.

 

Mickey wasn’t in his old bedroom anymore, he was in a dark place, it looked like a basement.

 

He looked down at his clothes, he was wearing suit.

 

Fuck, not this memory too.

 

He couldn’t do this.

 

Mickey took a deep breath, at least now he knew how he should handle it.

 

Ian busted through the door and stopped to look at Mickey, not saying a word.

 

”Hey” Mickey finally breathed.

 

He could do this, this shit was some kind of dream, in between illusion shit anyway, it wasn’t real.

 

Right? All he needed to do was fix this, say exactly what he should have said back then.

 

Do exactly what he should have done.

 

”You’re really doing it? Getting married?”

 

”No” Mickey said, hating himself for not having the balls to back then. ”I’m not. I can’t”

 

Ian looked shocked, for lack of a better word and he slowly walked closer to Mickey.

 

”What do you mean? Mick, your dad-”

 

”I know! I know. But I just can’t, I… I love you” Mickey blurted out.

 

It wasn’t like he had anything to lose at this point.

 

”Really?”

 

”Yeah. You were right, I do. I can’t do this. Not to you, not to us”

 

Mickey sounded like a completely different person, but he supposed that was what tended to happen when you got a chance to redo something. 

 

Whether it was the result of your own mind making something up or not.

 

”I love you” Ian said and stepped even closer.

 

”I love you”

 

Mickey smiled, inching closer, but right before their lips touched, he was gone again.

 

And there he was, in front of the Gallagher house, looking at a broken and sick Ian.

 

Fuck.

 

”The fuck you been?”

 

He intended to steer this conversation in a whole other direction that it had originally gone, but he just didn’t know how else to start.

 

”With my mom”

 

”You okay?”

 

”I hate the meds. You gonna make me take them?”

 

Fuck.

 

Mickey wanted to make this conversation better, make it so that they were back together before this illusion or dream or whatever the fuck was over, but he just didn’t know how.

 

So…

 

”You get fucking nuts when you don’t”

 

”You gonna wanna be with me even if I don’t?”

 

That’s it, he realized.

 

That’s the moment he would change.

 

Ian was a handful, a whole fucking lot to deal with, but Mickey wanted to be with him, he knew that now.

 

”Of course. I love you”

 

Ian sniffled and stood up.

 

”You don’t gotta do that, you know”

 

”Do what?”

 

”Lie to me”

 

Mickey willed himself into not rolling his eyes as Ian turned towards him, looking him straight into the eyes.

 

”Not lying. I love you, I have for a long fucking time. Why won’t you believe me?” 

 

”It’s better like this, Mick. You shouldn’t have to baby me”

 

”What if that’s what I want? Huh?” Mickey took a few steps forwards. ”I want you. All of you, good bad, sickness, health, all that shit”

 

”Why?”

 

Mickey tried to come up with an answer other than the obvious one but he couldn’t.

 

”Because I love you. Maybe that’s not good enough, but it’s the truth”

 

Ian took a deep breath, seeming to think it over.

 

He opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, Mickey was ripped out of the haze and he was blinking, trying to get his eyes to work properly.

 

He took in a white ceiling along with a face, standing over his lying body.

 

Ian.

 

His eyes were red, like he had not just been crying, but sobbing.

 

”What…?” Mickey’s voice cracked, so he didn’t continue.

 

Ian handed him a cup of water and he took a few gulps gratefully.

 

”Happened?” He finished and looked into Ian’s eyes.

 

”You um…” Ian stopped to rub his eyes free of the tears that were starting to fall again. ”You swallowed a bunch of pills and they couldn’t wake you up at first… But they ended up pumping your stomach, you’re gonna be fine”

 

”How long…?”

 

”Few hours” Mickey nodded as much as he could. ”Fuck it’s all my fault” Ian sat down on a chair, burying his head in his hands.

 

”No” Was all Mickey managed to get out.

 

”Yeah. I shouldn’t have… fuck” Mickey moved his hand to take Ian’s and pull it away from his face.

 

”I love you” Ian looked at Mickey in disbelief.

 

”You really do? I know that I’m a lot to handle, and I-”

 

”I love you” Mickey repeated, feeling way too beat to have this conversation right now.

 

He moved over slightly and Ian got the hint, laying himself down next to Mickey and putting an arm around him.

 

”Mickey, I know what-”

 

”Don’t wanna talk” Mickey protested quietly, and Ian couldn’t help but think that he sounded like a five year old. ”Just… don’t leave me”

 

”Never again” Ian promised without hesitation.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this ended up kind of sloppy. I hope it's not too too horrible


End file.
